A Decade Of Difference

I turned 30 this month. I did it, I made it. 30 probably isn’t all that much of an accomplishment, but when you live the life I have in your 20’s, 30 matters.

In my 20’s the following experiences were had:

  1. I experienced the city of San Francisco and that is where I really started to establish identity, beliefs, perspectives and life.
  2. I experienced Denver, such a perfect city to be 23 in.
  3. I met a handful of humans who I can’t foresee ever not knowing and loving.
  4. I met a handful of humans who impacted me to the core and change the course of my life. Some positively, some negatively.
  5. I watched drugs slowly and then suddenly take away my husband and disconnect him from the world, from humanity and from me.
  6. I had Cancer. I had Cancer and spent most of it alone, while my husband addressed the drugs on the opposite side of the Continental Divide.
  7. I Survived Cancer. 
  8. I loved two men, for very different reasons, at the exact same time. I don’t use the term love lightly. It may sound like a scandal, drama or wrong. Mostly it was just confusing, frustrating and I’ve never regretted it or wished it had been different.
  9. I had a baby. A miracle baby, who no one expected, no one predicted and I’ve never felt more for a human.
  10. Postpartum Depression was so real for me. Harder than being married to a drug addict, harder than cancer. The thoughts that entered my brain were insane, unfair, straight up bonkers. It was there upon giving birth, but it hit hard much later and it lasted far longer than it should have.
  11.  I loved the Rocky Mountains, deeply and truly. It’s probably the only place I’d ever move back to. Everything else has been a one time experience that I don’t need to try again.
  12. I left the Rocky Mountains and landed in Tennessee. I don’t know that I have loved a state more entirely. The urban pockets are great, the rural pockets are beautifully quaint and the Smokies are where mountain air is a perfect crisp.
  13.  My marriage viability was questioned, but we fought for it. We are fighting for it. 

All of these were intense. Educational. Needed. I grew, and I changed so wholly. It felt like more than any of my peers went through, but everyone has their own “stuff”. I am grateful for every bit of the crazy. It’s why I am who I am now.

To celebrate I got to pair a childhood friend and one from my early twenties and take a fun trip to Havasupi for a true dirty 30. Here’s to 40!

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