I just need to give you all a quick rundown of how my day started today. Today is apple butter day. My husband has been feeding Juniper the apples I bought earlier in the week however, so I was short about a pound, and I needed to re-up on the bananas and brown sugar for the house. I dressed so poorly that I chose to hit a different grocery store, for fear a check out person might recognize me.
The top half of my outfit was no better. Hoodie, Messy Bun. 5th Grade Headband.
Juniper was also well groomed. Read, jacket over footie pajamas that are a bit too big, from the boys section.
When I walked in I had one requirement. Get my venti coffee with soy. The barista was super sweet, and continuously commented how bad mama needed her coffee. That’s real talk people.
Everything was going smoothly as I avoided eye contact and made it oh, 20 feet to the produce section, and BAM. Coffee down. All venti ounces of it. I run over grab towels, the lovely “clean up in produce” rings over the speakers and there is now zero ways to avoid being noticed. So the sweet barista was just like come back over and I’ll get you another. At this point there is a poor old man mopping up my mess and I made the rational decision to get my coffee AFTER I was done shopping so I could take it straight to the car cup holder.
Well humanity has a funny way of being kind. I make it to the back of the produce section and turn the corner and I hear “Um Mam’” oh please don’t let me be the mam…. But I turn around and a sweet lady hands me a venti coffee with soy. “Special Delivery” all smiley and precious. Gah! I’m trying not to be seen and I have people chasing me down in the freakin’ grocery store. It was one of those looks too, like the this poor mom, with her poorly dressed child and her terrible outfit REALLY needs a hand today. And I profusely thanked her and belined for the brown sugar. Get me out of here!
Then I did what all good mothers, having this kind of morning do. I decided on donuts for breakfast.
The apples are cooking, my daughter just had a sugar crash and is asleep and I am recounting it all before I forget this moment in time. Next time I see a mama who looks a hot mess, spilling their saving grace and entertaining a toddler, let it be known I too will step in so that they don’t make it through the store without plenty of attention.