Yesterday, I Got High.

I know you’re probably a little confused. Why would I be openly admitting to getting high? Well you see, it was a total accident and quite possibly the worst few hours of my life!!

This is how it started. The chemo joys hit me on Saturday. It was the achy wah wah feeling and I was sure to call Matt and remind him how he’s abandoned me and that no one was home to get me ice cream, movies and honey walnut prawns. Oh how I needed prawns! His poor self, tried to give me a pep talk, and I was having none of it. “I don’t care that there is only 2 treatments left! I’m on the verge of death and you’re not here to help!!” He loves when I get dramatic. Eventually I passed out and felt ok when I woke up Sunday. Good thing too, since I had a Craft Ninja’s screen printing project to do! It was a great time but I did bow out early, I got some cutesy pillowcases out of it though! Sleep that night I did not. Worse than the nausea is the aches and pains I tell ya! It’s like growing pains, PMS cramps, and general muscle and bone retaliation! What gives?

Then comes Monday. I forced myself to buck up and get to work. Feeling queasy and sweaty and so cute, I showed up. The aches were still in full force, as was nausea. Yay! So here comes my brilliance. I decided that even though it would make me sleepy, I really needed to take some medicine for the tummy and the pain. My oncologist for whatever reason doesn’t believe in prescribing me pain killers and says ibuprofen should be enough. In general I am ok with that, I have a tendency to be very anti narcotic and pill popping anyway. However, when your body hurts all over for days at a time, a good pain med comes in handy. So even though I didn’t have a script for them for chemo aftermath, I still have my pain pills from the two biopsy surgeries. See they give you 30, I end up taking one or two. Like I said not a big fan of pills and have a decent pain tolerance. Cocktail creator Kaylee ultimately decides on one pain pill, and two anti-nausea pills. That should do the trick! Ha! It did tricks alright! 20 min or so after I popped them I was loopy as all get out. Turns out one of the anti-nausea meds is actually and anti-anxiety and just happens to have a side effect of helping with the nausea. So the combo really set me spinning. Also it might help to note, I have never been high. I have never tried a single drug in my life and my addict husband is completely smitten with my marijuana virginity that I have maintained.  Also I have no qualms with the use of medicinal ganj, but it’s just not for me.

As I sat at my desk, it became harder and harder to speak and behave coherently. I had to mentally walk myself through leaving a voicemail for a client because I couldn’t function at any respectable level. Turns out, that client hasn’t returned my call. I have a feeling they took their business elsewhere based on my level of stupidity. I even walked my butt into my coworker’s office and proclaimed that I thought I was high. Who does that?  She suggested I step away from my desk for a bit. I didn’t. I pretended to function for as long as possible and when I finally felt I was safe to drive, decided to take my lunch. It felt like it was never going to end, like I was permanently brain mushed, squishy and drunk, and good luck with the rest of my life.

Ultimately it faded, and on my lunch, the motion of my driving skills also induced vomiting. That was a first and I am now going to always carry barf bags with me because the cleanup was pure joy. Now my biggest concern is if I can valet my car at the hospital Friday when I go in, based on if my car still smells like Arby’s. Ew. I also spoke with Matt last night and asked him why anyone would ever in a million years enjoy being high, and that feeling?! It was so awful on every level. As usual he couldn’t answer that question. He never really has been able to.

 I am scheduled for an echo and a pulmonary functions test Friday. My last ones were in April so they are just checking to make sure I am still not showing major damage thanks to the ABVD drugs.  Last time my lungs were still good with minimal signs but that was 4 months ago so hoping they aren’t permanently screwed. I can still feel my heart beat so I am sure the echo will also show that it’s still working. If I never blog again, I guess it’s because my heart wasn’t actually beating like I thought it was.

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